Being a mom of four boys is not exactly how I had envisioned my life as a mother. When I was in Jr. High, I was already picking out names for my little girl I was (of course) going to have. Christina Lynn. (totally wouldn't have
stuck with that now, but..hey) I even bought a dress with ruffled socks for "her"! No, really. I did.
Anywho! As my life has unfolded, we all know that Christina Lynn is not in the picture ;)...but I
do however have four boys. Which is, ya know...turned out
much better than
my plan. But still.
It's four boys.
Four.
Boys.
Don't know if you've noticed.. but.. I am not a boy. Nor was I ever
interested in boyish things. I played with Barbies and dolls till like, 8th grade or something like that. No, really. I did.
So.. knowing Jacob was a boy kinda shocked me, but I (of course) knew the
next one would be a girl. Welcome, Nathan. Oh, but the
next one would be a girl. Welcome, Benjamin. And then, it was like.. "who's kidding, our next one will be a boy.." ;) and, welcome baby Joshua.
(no, btw..this post isn't leading to the fact that we're pregnant and it's a girl) just to clarify.
SO! I have totally rambled on and not even making the post or point that I have totally be rattling in my head for months!
SO! Being the mother of boys now that I
am... my intentions and things I feel about raising them are of course far more complex than the superficial ones that I had in Jr.High and even when I first found out I was pregnant. Once the baby is here, and they start to grow up.. you start to think.."what is it that I really want for my child." and in my case, our sons.
Obviously, having a relationship with
Jesus and following Him in every aspect of their life, mind, and soul is at the very top of the list. Having a desire to serve, to help, to witness and pray! To worship, and to glorify the name of Jesus wherever they go! That, is obviously any mother's prayer, to see all their children saved and serving others.
But, that is not what
this post is about.
Having sons, makes me
watch boys all the time. I don't mean little boys.. I mean, highschool boys;) ya know.. boys that are becoming men. Boys that are almost adults. Boys that shouldn't be
acting like little boys anymore. They should be maturing, and becoming real men...
Examples!
Ooooh the examples
Example 1-
Ok.... A few months ago, the boys and I were at Chick-Fil-A (whoot-whoot) and, as you all know, they are always so helpful there. Well, me and the boys had just finished up, and I was going to go throw our trash away. There were several High School students there because Centerville has open lunch.
Just as I was getting to the trash can..(just me)... four of the High School boys
also came to the trashcan. We kinda both got there first, and so we both just kinda stood there for a second.. ya know..."trashcan etiquette".. me in my "line" of one... and he in his line of four. Being a mom, I say, "go ahead".. (but ya know, in my head, I knew he'd say..."no, you go ahead".. but.. he didn't. He threw his trash away, then the
next boy stepped up and threw his trash away, then the next boy stepped up and threw
his trash away. But, on the last boy, the
last boy...he looked at me and said.."go ahead.".. to which I of course said, "no, it's ok.. go ahead."...
But, my first thought was.. would
my son have been the one to say "go ahead".. or would he have been one of the ones that just followed in line.. never looking to see that a woman was standing there. Not that I waited all but maybe 2 minutes, but still. The
last boy
recognized....look, a lady is standing here waiting to throw her trash away, I'll offer she goes first.
That's not a big deal you say? I'm looking way to into it?!.. (which, totally may be) but.. I am all about my boys being chivalrous and gentlemen like. Especially when we are in public. I'm not saying they
are all the time.. I mean, they're 8,5,3 and 1... but, they are definitely being guided in that direction. Jake has held the door open for more people than I can count.. and Nathan is already following in his footsteps. But why.. why do they do it..? Because they
recognize someone is coming, and they can hold open the door for them.
Example 2-
This one beyond boils my blood.
Easter. Easter lunch. We went to Mimi's café. Long story short, we missed our reservation and so we had to wait. Like, be put back on the list and wait. Well, it's Easter. There's a million people there..so.. it's gonna be quite a while.
So.. we're standing there, (totally willing to stand).. Rodney is holding Josh (who wanted down) and the other three were just standing there. I was literally just standing there holding my purse. This old man... like.. I'm talking in his 80's.. got up from
across the room.. came and got me, and literally
made me sit in his chair. He said, "Here, take my seat. I can stand." My heart, of course, melted for the man.. because in just that 10 seconds we'd "known" each other, in
my mind the man was a
"poor little old man, a widower, who fought in the war and never did a thing wrong his whole life!" Ya, my mind thinks like that ;)
So! Being respectful of his offer (yet actually far from the kids and easier to be standing with them) I sat there. He stood only a few minutes and another chair opened up. He sat... but only for literally a minute or two, and then.. a lady walked in. He literally (it was like he was watching) got up, went to the lady and offered her his seat. She said no, because she was much younger than him, and probably knew he needed the seat more than her. But, he kept asking. She again said no, but he insisted that
she took
his seat. Then!... (ahhhh!)
this is the part...seriously my hands are shaking typing...The MAN she was with.. said..(literally arrogantly).. "Well, I'm not into this chivalry stuff, I'll take it!" And he went and PLOPPED.. no really, he
plopped.. into this old mans seat!!!! I. thought. I. was. gonna. blow. I was speechless. So was the woman actually, and the old man.
I watched him. He never looked up once the man took his seat.
He heard what the guy said.
I honest to goodness think it took a stab to his heart really...
He wouldn't look up. Almost like he was too embarrassed. Instead, he took out his pocket watch (awww..) and he kept staring at it.
I know, I know.. I should have stood up, and said..."Sir! Take your seat back from ME!".. ;) but, I didn't. I did get up though.. but I just walked by them all. I was so stunned at what that man had just done. And then, as you know where I'm going with this one.. I had the thought again.. "Which one of
those men will
my son be..."
Will they
recognize that an old man was giving the seat to a lady? Or will they be the old man. Or, surely to goodness no, will they be the man who
took the seat?
What I'm trying to say.. is that I want my boys to be men. Men that are men! Treat women like women and not be ashamed to step up when they need to.
Now, as my boys grow up, I know I can't be there beside them 100% of the time.. but I have to pray that the things that I am teaching them now, will stick! And, they will
recognize these situations. Most of what boys learn is from watching their father. I know that. But, I also know, that the mother (most often) is with them far more than the dad.. and it's my job (with the Lord's guidance) to guide them into being the men they are called to be!
This post has literally took my entire night, and I don't know that I said everything how I wanted to say it.. but it's something that I am
passionate about! Raising Godly men. Raising
respectful men. Raising loving, kind, gentle.. but yet competitive, brave, and strong men! To
recognize things, and people.. and be pleasing to Him.
Like I said... my life as a mother isn't exactly what I had
thought it would be. It's better...
